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Poetry

Cage

the rage
the sorrow.

this
ain't gonna end
tomorrow.

the rage
the sorrow.

propellin' me
through life.

the rage
the sorrow

bringin'
me strife.

the rage
the sorrow

gonna make me change.
gonna make me strange.

the rage
the sorrow.

apathy is death
emotion my breath

the rage
the sorrow.

will be
my cage.

for
tomorrow.

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May I have critique please?

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2 Comments

Comment by Dave Stringer on December 9, 2008 at 8:56pm: I can imagine this as lyrics to a killer metal song.

Comment by Donald Anderson on December 8, 2008 at 11:06am: I'd just say practice. Add more variety, more specific words. Flesh it out or else make it concise.